Friday, January 25, 2013

Today’s Show Notes: Friday, 25th January 2013.

“What do you think of ‘Flirty Fishing’? Where you date someone with the intention of winning them to Christ?”

Flirty Fishing is a form of evangelistic religious prostitution practiced from around 1974 to 1987 by female members in the cult the Children of God, now known as The Family International. While not used in a formalized capacity very often today, many unwittingly do still hold this “If I date him, I can change him” mentality. Some call it “missionary dating.”

Listen very carefully to this Bible passage:

Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can goodness be a partner with wickedness? How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the Devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? And what union can there be between God’s temple and idols? (2 Cor. 6:14-16, NLT)

God said you should not date anyone who isn’t a serious follower of Jesus. In case that didn’t register let me rephrase that… God says you are ONLY ALLOWED to pursue a relationship with a genuine follower of Jesus. You can’t date an unbeliever. This is not an option, it is a command from God (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Perhaps you’re thinking, “But, if I date them I can help them know God, so why shouldn’t I date them?” You can’t throw a cup of crystal clear water into a large mud puddle and expect the mud puddle to become clean. The mud puddle will instead swallow up the “good” water. That’s what the Bible teaches in principle about dating unbelievers. You can’t change people. It’s impossible! Only God can truly change someone’s heart. But bad can pollute good.
People can pull you away from God. The Bible says, “Do not be deceived: ‘Evil company corrupts good habits.’” (1 Cor. 15:33). Did you notice how that passage started? “Do not be deceived.” Many Christians think that maybe it’s not the best, but it’s okay to date people who aren’t head over heels for Jesus. Don’t be tricked. Who you hang with is who you’ll become.
Unsaved people will drag you away from the Lord. It’s a fact; there is no arguing about it. Toward the end of King Solomon’s life he turned away from the Lord. Why? He got romantic with unbelievers. You don’t think dating an unbeliever will pull you away from God? It already has. The choice to date an unbeliever is an act of rebellion. God has commanded us not to date unbelievers, but you say it’s ok. You’ve already stepped away from God! When God says something, listen… and obey. He’s always right.
Do you realize when you’re dating an unbeliever you are training yourself to marry the wrong person? Sooner or later the person you date will be the person you marry. You may not know exactly who the “right one” is, but you do know that an unbeliever could not be that one. Do not pray about it. Don’t insult God. God has already spoken on this matter; He’s not going to change His mind. Dating an unbeliever is dating the “wrong one.”
Seriously, before you do anything else you need to chisel deep into the stone of your soul that you will never, NEVER, date someone who isn’t a serious follower of Jesus.

Stuff Christian Singles Hear

“I pass out a lot of tracts and love the Lord… speaking about tracts, I’m also single. Could you share some tips about finding my godly match—who will of course also pass out tracts with me?”

Maintain the right reason for dating or courting. The purpose of dating is to see if that person could be your future spouse; all other motives are rooted in selfishness. Not understanding the purpose for dating/courting has wrecked many lives and broken many hearts. If you’re dating because you’re bored, rent a movie; if you’re lonely, get a poodle. You must understand that if you're looking to date someone with the wrong motives it could end up disastrous for both of you.

Don’t date them simply because they’re “Christian.” Going into church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than walking into a pet shop makes you a dog. Jesus said in Matthew 7:21-23, “Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!'” Spiritual and religious deeds aren’t enough; they need to have departed from evil doing. Without holiness no one will see the Lord (Heb. 12:14). You need to focus on your own walk with God and then look for someone who will be a constant spiritual inspiration and encouragement.

Getting married won’t make you happy. If you need a person to complete you, you aren’t ready for marriage. You need to be complete and content first; otherwise you’re just dragging your old luggage into a new room. Paul said he found the secret to being content in all situations, and it’s found in focusing your life on loving God (Phil. 4:11-13). Contentment is a state of mind not the state of the situation. If you’re not happy single, you won’t be happy married. If marriage created happiness half of all marriages wouldn’t end in divorce. The problem isn’t flowing out of your singleness; it may be a symptom of a deeper struggle in your walk with God. Your contentment, value, sense of worth should come from relationship with God now, not from another human being later.

You date personality, but marry character. Love is intoxicating. The dating/courting process can be euphoric and totally blinding. It’s why people date for a year and then break up. They often couldn’t see things as they really were at the start because they rushed in too quickly. While dating, people only show you what they want you to see; make a habit of noticing things before you go on your first date, while you’re more objective. Before you fall in love and see everything through rose-colored glasses, take advantage of objectively getting to know their character before you date them (their walk with the Lord, how they respond to tough situations, etc.). After your fairy tale year of dating or early into your marriage, you’ll notice the emotions calm down and that person resorts back to being the same person you knew before you dated them. Romance doesn’t change character it merely masks it. Be sure you like that person as a person before you date them. Proverbs 27:15 says, “A quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day.” Proverbs 25:24: “Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.” Once you’re married it’s for life; you can only improve on your situation and put hard work into it to making it better, but if you’re single you now get to decide how hard “working on it” will be.

“What if you’re courting, and the person you’re with says if ‘you really love me, you’ll get physical with me’?”
First, break up with them. They love themselves much more than they love you or God.
In the Bible there are two letters written to the church of Corinth, in ancient Greece. In 1 Corinthians 13 the world’s most famous definition of love is given. Now if anyone thought they knew what love was I’m sure it was the Corinthians. Corinth was a huge city of over 300,000 people that had Aphrodite, the goddess of love, as one of their chief gods. Her idols littered the streets, and at least three temples were dedicated to this queen of love.
It’s said that at one point there were over 1,000 prostitutes who worked in one of Aphrodite’s temples selling their bodies to raise money for the temple. In Paul’s two letters to the Corinthians he warned about incest, adultery, premarital sex, prostitution, and homosexuality. No doubt the Corinthians were raised to believe the lie that sex and love were the same thing. God felt it was so important to correct their understanding of love that He devoted a chunk of one of those letters to giving an explanation of what real love is.
Let’s take a quick look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, God’s definition of true love:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

Just as fire is known by its heat, love is known by its actions. Notice that God’s definition of love isn’t about butterfly feelings, it’s not about romance, it’s certainly not about sex… it’s about actions. True love shows itself in the things it does. Love chooses to be patient, to be kind, not to envy, etc. Love isn’t a passing emotion that comes and goes like the tides of the sea. True love goes past emotions. It’s a commitment to seek the good of the other person. It goes beyond looking for the best for “me” and looks for the best for “them.”
If you feel pressured to have sex or “fool around” by the person you’re dating, they’re not showing a whole lot of love for you, and certainly not for God. Love is selfless, not selfish. Love pursues and protects purity. Love patiently waits for marriage. If someone really loves you, they will have your best interests at heart and fight to keep you away from sex before marriage.

Sexual purity means saying no to a physical relationship before marriage. The Bible says, “Run from anything that stimulates youthful lust . . . Pursue faith and love and peace, and enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts” (2 Tim. 2:22). Anything that causes you to get “turned on” should be avoided like a skunk that just ate a can of beans.
The Bible says that “there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality” (Eph. 5:3). If there’s a tiny speck of sexual sin involved, skip it. The Bible says, “Run away from sexual sin!” (1 Cor. 6:18, NLT). If you sense you’re getting yourself in a position where things might get physical… sprint! Just like Joseph did.

To watch today’s “On The Box with Ray Comfort” episode, visit our YouTube channel: