Monday, September 23, 2013

Words of Comfort: How to Become an Atheist

If you are thinking of becoming an atheist, beware. The first step is easy, but it’s not so easy to walk the walk. You will have to ignore design when you can see it everywhere: in the universe, the atoms, the birds and the bees, the clouds and trees, the seasons, the human body, fish, flowers, fruits, feet, and even fungus. And of course, there is the amazing-looking human eye. Everywhere you look and everywhere you can't look with the human eye you will see incredible design. Now here's the really difficult part. You will need to believe that everything man-made: cars, computers, and candies were made by man, etc.,  but deny that everything in nature--cattle, camels, and cabbages, etc., were made at all. It came from nothing, with no Maker.  Once you have done this, crown yourself as being intelligent. Then you will need to find other atheists who believe as you do, and they will confirm to you that you are indeed intelligent. You will also need to believe that evolution is true and that you’re an ape and therefore you are not morally responsible because apes have no moral absolutes. Never forget to always give God a small "g," and learn believers' phrases such as "Evolution is a proven fact," and “I have no beliefs in any gods.” Do these things, and you will be able to call yourself a "new" atheist. How cool is that! Well, not really. You can¹t be a true atheist because you need  absolute knowledge to say that there is no God. Besides, you intuitively know that He exists. Still, for sin-loving sinners the benefits of atheism are great in this life. But not the next. So you are really not an atheist, and to keep with your sinful lifestyle I guess you will just have to pretend to be one. Or you could simply check out:

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